sweetcheeks

Miles

2012-02-11T11:23:00.001-08:00

Miles, that little stinker knocked out his front tooth. We were in Target, all 6 of us, just getting out of the house after being stranded in the snow for a week. He was wearing his braces which make him a little more unstable and clumsy. He and Kainen were goofing around next to the cart and he got hold of the cart, stumbled, body twisted and fell. Knocking his tooth right on the metal base of the cart. Dave looked down and saw blood and then his tooth laying on the ground. Panic set in since he was g u s h i n g blood, his whole mouth red. Not a drop on the floor though. It all soaked into Dave's clothes. We were going to go to the ER but the bleeding stopped so Dave made a few calls to see what we should do. Everyone said to wait until tomorrow to go to the dentist. Which we did. Since his tooth fell out completely and didn't break he will, and has, healed up fine. His other front tooth is still loose so I'm wondering what will happen with that one in the near future.

As far as his braces go he's doing good with them. Still willing to wear them, which is good since his PT wants him to wear them 6 hours straight, if not more, for at least 3 days a week. With his braces off, he tip-toes a lot and likes to swing his legs out when he's running instead of bending and stepping forward. With his braces on, his feet are a lot more flat but he turns his toes in. I'm anxious for some progress. It seems like we're at a stand still right now. So I need to practice some patience.

He'll always have the nick name Smiles

Went for walk to get Kainen from the bus
on the last sunny day this week. It felt so good!
Sun, come back!!!

2012-02-11T10:46:00.000-08:00

7 weeks old
9 1/2 lbs each
20 1/2 inches

It's hard at this point to tell them apart. I have an easier time since I dress them each day and know who's wearing what but the only physical way of telling them apart is their hairline. Priya has a hairline that curves perfectly around her forehead. Anya has a little widows peak. Their cries are another way, I think. Priya has more of a sweet, heartbreaking cry. Anya is just loud and angry...but still so very sweet :)

Of course their arms and head are in the exact same position.
Obviously they like to make it harder for us.
Priya on left ~ Anya on right

Kainen ~ Priya ~ Anya ~ Miles

2012-01-12T10:06:00.000-08:00

December 19th 2011

their first 3 weeks

Priya Michele
11:48pm
5 lbs. 4 oz.
19 1/4 inches

Priya comes home after 9 days in the NICU

First family photo ~ Christmas 2011

Anya Lee
11:49pm
5 lbs. 5 oz.
19 1/2 inches

Anya comes home after 10 days in the NICU

Home Sweet Home
Priya on left and Anya on right in the next two pictures

Kainen with Priya, Miles with Anya

Kainen with Anya

Miles with Priya

One Step Ahead

2011-12-16T09:51:00.000-08:00

A while back I wrote a short post about Miles and his progress with walking. Since then, our insurance denied our request for orthotics and Heidi, his PT, wrote a letter to fight it. While we were waiting on a response she had us use a similar pair that he would wear only to bed, they weren't meant for walking but they would give him the right stretch that he needed. He hated them and would cry so hard when we put them on. It was heartbreaking so we didn't put them on him often.

On Wednesday we got a call from Cascade Prosthetics and Orthotics asking if we could come in tomorrow to get Miles fitted for his orthotics. Insurance finally approved!!! Miles and I went and got him fitted while Kainen was in school. It was quick and painless. He sat so patiently while she put them on and off until she got the toe trimmed down right. I brought a few different pairs of shoes to try on with them. He has to were a size 8 when his normal shoe size is a 6 but they work perfect. He walked out with them on and wore them for about an hour with no complaints.

Our schedule, for now, is on for an hour. Take them off, look for any read marks on his skin. If none put them back on for another hour and then check again and so on. If there are red marks then we need to wait 15-20 minutes to see if they go away. If they don't then we need to call the clinic to make adjustments. We will do that until there aren't any red marks and until he has adapted to them and can leave them on for the majority of the day.

I think this will be very significant in correcting his walking. Getting him off his toes and such. I'm excited for it now. We'll see how it goes.

34 weeks!

2011-12-13T10:53:00.001-08:00

I can't believe I'm at the end! It still seems very surreal. 3 weeks and 2 days until my c-section!

The girls are doing great! Last week I had an ultrasound to get their measurements and they are measuring a week ahead! 5 lbs. each! Which was great news since they have to weigh 5 pounds before they leave the hospital...as long as everything else checks out ok :) It made me so happy to see them on the ultrasound screen, Baby A had the most perfect profile and Baby B had the sweetest baby Native cheeks which she obviously gets from Daddy (see pics below). I was hoping they would check my cervical length but they didn't. I guess they stop doing that after 32 weeks since the babies are so much bigger and sitting a lot lower now, especially with twins. Which I can definitely feel. It's weird, I thought I would be feeling a lot of kicking and poking and pressure on my ribs but I feel it mostly on my hip and pelvic bones. Their movements are so strong now!

Baby B I feel the most. She sits the highest and closest to the surface. I can feel her head and limbs and see every movement they make. I think she rubs her feet together like her Daddy does. She gravitates to my warm coffee mug when I sit it on my belly. She kicks away anything else that I set on my tummy like a book when I'm reading to Kainen or anything else that she knows doesn't need to be there. I can feel the entire form of her body when I have a contraction which is kind of weird but fun. With all the movements she makes she still seems pretty mellow but I feel like she might demand more attention than A.

Baby A sits lower and further back and is also covered by her placenta so I don't feel her movements as much which makes it hard to make out her personality. I think she's a bit more mellow than B because her movements are soft and slow and not as frequent. I feel her little hands rubbing across my skin right where my waistband sits. She reacts to Baby B's strongest movements and...ok, this might be too much info but with all their movement it works out a lot of gas and the other night I let out a pretty loud one and, poor thing, made her jump! I woke her from a pretty sound sleep I think. Gave me a pretty good laugh, still does :)

Anyway, I keep hoping that this day will come sooner but with each day passing it's coming up so much quicker than I thought. Soon we shall meet our sweet girls, Priya and Anya!

Baby A, Perfect profile but I'm sure she has sweet squishy cheeks like B does :)

Baby B, can you see it?! Forehead on left, you can see 1 eye closed, her nose and sweet chunky cheeks, open mouth with tongue slightly out...oh and that white blob up by her cheek is A's foot pushing her ever so gently out of the way :)

32 weeks!

2011-12-01T10:52:00.002-08:00

5 weeks until scheduled c-section! Crazy to think about. I've been in a little bit of a panic mode because I've been getting this strange feeling that this is going to happen sooner and I definitely didn't feel I was ready if it did. Tuesday morning I looked down at my belly and it looked smaller which made me think that I had dropped so I took a look in the mirror and I think I did. It looked lower when looking from the front but didn't see much change from the side so I don't really know. I had my doc appt. later that day and when I got there the receptionist blurted out "You dropped! When are you due!? Which I think her confirmation is what put me in panic mode. My doctor didn't say anything though so who knows.

Babies are good still, not much change. I had my non-stress test and they were quieter than normal, not much movement, heart rates in the 130's so the nurse gave me some cold juice and had to jolt them awake with a little vibrator contraption that also made a loud noise. She pressed it at the top of my belly for a split second and they instantly started kicking around. Then we had to wait for them to settle down because their heart rates were staying between 175-180 so that appt. took longer than normal. But they are good! Next Tuesday I'll have another ultrasound to measure the babies as well as my cervical length.

Yesterday I finished packing our hospital bags. Sterilized the bottles and got them all organized. Did my last load of laundry to get all those new baby items clean and ready...I had pink lint! Nice change from the normal grayish blue lint and it made me a little giddy...I thought about putting it away for keepsake but quickly decided against it :) I did take a picture to post on Facebook though, silly me! Anyway, car seats are ready to go. Dave will be putting them in the van this weekend. Today my goal is to pack an overnight bag for the boys for any sleepovers they might have, which I'm sure they will. Put away laundry and get the pack 'n play ready in our room. THEN I will feel ready for this to happen.

This weekend I would like to do some shopping...fabric for my sewing projects, dollar store toys for a little hospital entertainment bag for the boys (in case they need to stay for a bit), snacks for Dave while he's at the hospital, get a few more needed baby items at Target...I think that's it. Hope I can get it all done!

Meanwhile, I'll be waiting for the arrival of my newest niece or nephew! Kristin is due on the 3rd! and I can't wait for the news to come!!!

Projects!

2011-11-20T08:29:00.001-08:00

...that I'll probably never get to

Car Seat Canopy

Nursing/Pumping Cover

Fleece Lined Blanket (minus the strap)

Changing Pad

We'll start with that. I don't know why I'm giving my self so many projects 6 weeks before the babies come :/ Oh, and I have to finish my second knit hat...

Rosaleigh's 1st!

2011-11-17T15:42:00.000-08:00

September, 2011
We went to Alissa's house in the Tri-Cities, 4ish hours away, for Rosie's first birthday.

Grandpa with Samantha, Kainen, Miles and Bella
The 3 older kids played on the trampoline from morning until dinner time. No stopping except for a drink, potty break or lunch/snack. Kainen, had a pounding headache the second day of jumping and fell asleep through Rosie's birthday party. Poor guy. But they had SO much fun!

Happy Birthday Sweet Rosaleigh!

Guess who gets to play catch up!?!?! ME!!!

2011-11-17T14:54:00.000-08:00

I temporarily have internet but hopefully we will permanently soon. So, I'm going to play catch up while I can still load pictures in a flash :D

First up:

Annual family camping trip at Lake Kachess, July 2011

Dave carving away.

Miles, you'd think he'd be spitting out dirt but no, he's just being silly.

Like Mother...

...like daughter.

Kainen and Bella pooped after a long hike.

Grandpa and his Grandkids...Hannah, Elsie, Hayden, Samantha, Kainen, Miles (being held by my Dad), Bella, Ella, Ethan, Cole and Joshua...Taylor, Faith and Rosaleigh not pictured.

Miles, Dave, Me and Kainen

Hannah, Curt, Elsie, Heather and Joshua

Ethan, Hayden, Ella, Philip, Aleah and Cole

Samantha and Bella (Alissa and Rosaleigh not pictured)

It never fails for Kainen to make a silly face instead of a sweet smile.

No worries, they're just playing.

2011-11-10T09:23:00.000-08:00

29 weeks! Only 8 more weeks to go!!!

Things have continued to go great! I saw the doctor last friday and now that I'm approaching 30 weeks I'm going to start seeing him every 2 weeks instead of once a month. We have also started non-stress tests where they monitor the babies heart rates and movements as well as any contractions I have. My first one was on Tuesday and it went well! I'll be doing those once a week but I won't be needing to go in every 2 weeks for them to check my cervix! But I'll still continue to go once a month for them to check the babies growth. Sheesh! I don't know what I would do without my planner!

I've been pretty overwhelmed with everything lately. Not just with my pregnancy and all the appointments that come with it but also with Miles and his physical therapy. He sees his PT, Heidi, every two weeks. She comes to us for an hour to work with him and check his progress. He's doing really great! Between visits Dave and I have to stretch him daily to loosen up his muscles. A couple months ago we started putting Kinesio tape on his legs to help pull his muscles in the right position (easiest way for me to explain it) since he has a tendency to turn his toes in. He still does this but we are seeing minor improvements as time goes on. He also walks on his tip toes so that's what we are currently focused on. A few weeks ago Heidi told us that she wants us to get him in orthotics. We went to a clinic that does custom fittings and I think that this has been the hardest part for me. When she told us the type of orthotics he needed it scared me and I had to hold in my tears. I was overwhelmed with emotion and it took me some time to get used to it and except it. I had to skip out on his PT session the next day just because I knew I'd be crying the whole time. I just needed time.

It just seems like a lot of little things are happening all at once and I just need to find time to breath.

Pictures like this help, I just love him!

27 weeks!

2011-10-18T15:27:00.000-07:00

Things have been going fantastic! I've been feeling good. The closer I get the more confident I get and sometimes overly but it's nice to have the worry set aside so i can actually enjoy this pregnancy, finally! Time to put all this planning for two babies into action! I still haven't gotten to the girls room after we moved Miles out but that's my project this week. I'm excited for it. Well...not the first part. It's a mess in there but once that's gone I'm excited to move things around and organize the baby stuff.

My appointments have been going well. I get my 17P shot once a week still (which is starting to be a pain in the ass, literally. I had a bruise the size of a quarter last week on my butt cheek) She also checks my blood pressure which has been slightly high here and there but nothing to worry about yet. She checks the babies heart rates which is fun to hear since normally I just get to see it. The boys think it's fun too :) The babies have had a consistent heart rate and have been moving around a ton. They are getting so strong! It's fun to watch my belly move like little ripples in the water. They seem to have a domino effect in movement, once one kicks my whole belly jiggles like a bowl full of jelly. I keep trying to catch it on video but they seem to be camera shy like their mother. They stop the second I turn it on. It's hard to imagine what it's going to be like towards the end....10 weeks and 4 days left! Yikes!

My cervix has also checked out fine too. Staying long and not trying to open which is nice to know. TMI? Sorry, it is what it is. My Dr. said if it continues then we'll probably stop ultrasounds after 30 weeks but then we'll start seeing my OB more frequently.

I've been getting really overwhelmed with all my appointments. I have something every week and between my pregnancy, school for Kainen, Miles' physical therapy (next blog) I've been feeling a little overwhelmed and emotional and I'm ready for things to slow down...will that even happen with two babies???

September

2011-09-24T10:52:00.000-07:00

I just realized it's been close to a month since my last post. Where did this month go?

We started this month out with school events. First Kainen's Kindergarten open house. A nice little "BBQ" for the students and their families...we went through the service line in the cafeteria and had those nice little hamburgers and hot dogs we probably all so fondly remember from our early school days...what are they made of anyway? Following that we went and found his classroom and met his teacher, who seems very nice! He played around mainly just to get used to the classroom and then we headed home. He and I went to orientation a couple days later, I dropped him off at his classroom with his teacher while I went with the other parents to learn about the in's and out's of school rules, procedures and such. When I went to pick him up he wasn't ready to go and was the last one out of the room. I'm glad he was used to the classroom and teacher enough to want to come back :) Now I just needed to get him on the bus. Which wasn't as much of a challenge as I thought it might be. The night before the first day we picked out his outfit, got his tag ready to wear around his neck so the bus driver and school staff knew who he was and where he needed to be. We stood in the bus line in the morning. He was worried the whole time but you could tell he knew it was something that needed to be done. When the bus arrived I moved him to the back of the line behind 4 other kids so I could talk to the bus driver. As the line started moving he said quietly "Mom, I'm scared" I just had to give him a little encouragement along with a slight nudge and he got on just fine. When he came home, he had a HUGE smile on his face, got up before the bus stopped (the driver had to hold his arm out so he wouldn't fall down the stairs) left his sweatshirt on the bus and his backpack at school. He'll learn :) The four of us headed straight to the ice cream shop to celebrate his first day with a slight detour to his school to pick up his pack! He had a good day and kept saying "I can't wait to go back to school!" and "Did you know that I LOVE to ride the bus?!" I think it was a success!
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We had our long, extensive anatomy ultrasound at 21 weeks. The GIRLS, yes officially girls! We were worried for a second that we got our hopes up and they were going to turn out being more boys. Phew! I don't know what I would have done if it were me and 5 boys in the house! More importantly they looked perfect! Healthy and happy! The Doctor also checked my cervix and he was thrilled to see that it wasn't shortening or trying to open! He said that I had him nervous but seems there was now reason to be! I'll take that! It gave me a little more confidence and took some of my fears and worries away. I'll be seeing them every two weeks now which also helps ease my fears. They also pointed out where each placenta was and it makes sense now why I wasnt feeling a lot of movement. But now, at 23 weeks, I can tell that they are growing and getting much stronger! Instead of little twitches of movement here and there it's full kicks and pushes. I can see my whole belly thump and transform into weird shapes. I can start to feel when they're stretching or flipping. Sometimes it feels like they're playing...or fighting...with each other. I can feel them gravitate to my warm cup of coffee resting on my tummy or kicking the iPad resting in their space with annoyance. Like they are now! This week has gone by a little faster now that I'm hitting the "safe zone". I'm only three weeks away from 26 weeks (when I had Miles), that was still very early but at least I know there is some chance of them surviving if I do end up going into labor that early.

School Daze

2011-08-31T15:08:00.000-07:00

Well it's another chapter in the James family book. Kainen starts kindergarten next week! It doesn't seem that long ago that I was in the hospital bringing him into this world. When people say that it goes so fast it IS the truth! I can't believe how fast he's grown, how smart he is and how much he has turned into this...little man! There is no other little five year old like him. He is so special and it's exciting! I can't wait to see what he will be like as a teenager, if he'll go to college, what career path he'll decide to take, who he'll marry...oh boy! Getting too far ahead. For now I suppose I'll get through kindergarten.

I'm nervous. I'm scared for him. I worry about his first bus ride mostly. Will he get on, will he know where to go when he gets off, will he know which bus stop is his when he comes home? Are the kids going to be nice to him? Will he have trouble making friends? I know most of this will pass after the first few days or weeks but it's tough. I'm glad I can still get around for his first day at least. To see him off and maybe even follow the bus to school :) That's one of the first things I thought about when I found out I was pregnant. What if I'm not there for him on his first day? I would feel so guilty and sad. I'm glad we put him in preschool last year so he could get used to that environment at least.

We'll be going to his school for the open house next Tuesday so maybe that will help him ease into it a bit. We shall see! To be continued...

<3 I felt my little beebles ALL day yesterday! Kicks and punches on my left side, left lower abdomen, under my belly button, right above my pelvic bone and WAY down low by my cervix. That one made me a bit nervous but I guess that's normal for women carrying twins. It will be interesting to feel all that movement even a month from now.

19 weeks tomorrow...

2011-08-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

Makes me nervous but I'm trying to distract myself with baby stuff. So far we've...

~Picked our baby girl names! Priya Michele and Anya Lee

~Made my hospital stay list...too early to pack I think :) But really want to!

~Created my baby "registry"...I don't, by any means, expect a baby shower. It's just my way of keeping baby needs in order AND a go to for people who do want to give gifts.

~Sorted through hand me downs NB-9 months. I love hand me downs!

~We made our first baby buy this morning! A very nice, great condition, double stroller at a garage sale for $20! This particular one normally costs $150-180 new. So I'm happy with it! It's big and overwhelming but I think that will change once it's filled with babies!

On my to do...move Kainen's stuff to Miles's room so we can wash walls, fill holes and paint. Set up bunk bed and bring Kainen AND Miles' stuff back into the room...and then prep and paint the girls room! ...I think that's plenty for now.

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This last week...

I started my progesterone shots! My fabulous nurse got it worked out for someone to come to my house to give me the shots once a week so I don't have to drive in every time AND it's covered on my insurance!

Ever since my last ultrasound I feel like the babies have been moving less and less and it's been making me worry more and more. A couple nights ago I broke down a bit. Babies hardly moved that day and then, of course, after I cried and Dave reassured me, they started kickin' around to let me know they were fine and they've been kicking ever since. Every morning when I'm drinking my ONE cup of coffee and at night after the boys go to bed and it's quiet in the house. This morning they've been very happy and active! Kainen felt them kick his little hand for the first time. He giggled :) made me smile!

**Side note: I saved a chipmunk from my cat this morning. Saw her batting it around. Holding it in her mouth then teasing it by letting it go just to catch it again. Rats and mice are fine but that cute little chipmunk! I wasn't letting her get that one. It squeaked its way up the tree to safety.

18 weeks and counting...

2011-08-21T16:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this picture is from when I was 14 weeks. It's also downloaded from my cell so the quality isn't that great. It took me 10 minutes to load it on my blog. I wish I could blog more often but my phone and my ipad like to make things difficult for me.

I am now 18 weeks pregnant! Twin GIRLS! This is my 4th pregnancy and it has been very hard. Not physically but mentally. With the loss of my twin boys at 19 weeks and my premature birth with Miles at 26 weeks I've constantly been worrying and questioning every little thing that I feel.

Since we found out that we are having twins my doctor has put me on pelvic rest...I on the other hand have put myself on bed rest. I just don't want to risk it. I've slowly been approaching the 19 weeks when I lost Logan and Ryder so it's been especially hard the last week or so.

I had a cerclage (cervical stitch) put in at 14 so that gives me a little comfort. I will also be starting a weekly shot, 17 hydroxy progesterone acetate for prevention of preterm labor, TOMORROW! I'm very excited for it. It's two weeks later than I was suppose to start them but that's ok. As long as it works I'm happy.

Hopefully I can continue these blogs so I can update and keep a "journal" of how I'm feeling.

Stay tuned!

2011-04-15T12:08:00.000-07:00

Spring is here! Sorta. I love the sun playing peek-a-boo. Although, I wish it would come out of hiding for good already! These rainy, gloomy, uninspiring days are getting a bit old. I love the flowers sprouting. The sound of the boys laughter and cheer outside. Springtime projects that have started. I'm ready for more. The other day the sun was out and it was fairly warm out! We spent ALL day outside! Kainen, by the way, started his day off with a practice bus ride during preschool. I had to sign my first permission slip! I kind of wanted a copy of it but I was embarassed to ask. I'm glad he took this bus ride. I had a little breakdown a few weeks back. The thought of his first day off to kindergarten on a bus scared me and I broke down. This bus ride eased my fears and I hope it will ease his when that first real bus ride comes. After picking up Kainen and having lunch we all headed outside. Kainen sat with Daddy on the riding lawn mower (wish I took a picture, these are all things Dave did with his grandpa when he was Kainen's age, in the same house on the same property) while I trimmed back dead plants. Not knowing what I was doing. I don't have my Dad's green thumb...not yet anyway. This was my first gardening experience where it was all in my hands in my garden. I think I succeeded. I moved on to pruning an apple tree with Dave. Another new one for us. We'll see if we get apples. Then to cutting down ferns and other wild brush that I don't care for. I've been planning out my garden. Flowers, vegetables, herbs...Dave is going to build me a couple raised gardens. I don't know if that will happen this year. I think it's too much all at once and know it's getting to be last minute seeing how it's spring already. But I am anxious to get out and buy some flowers to plant around the house to liven it up a bit. Anyway, that was a good day. It made me happy and I'm excited for more.

2011

2011-01-01T10:55:00.000-08:00

Gosh, where has the time gone?! I feel like we were just debating whether we should say two thousand ten or twenty ten...this last year went by so fast for me. Too fast I think. I don't really have much to say about it which is sad to me...I should.

Kainen will be turning 5 at the end of the month! He started preschool in the fall and already he has grown so much. He never fails to make me proud each day. I can't wait to see where life takes him! My goal for this new year is to encourage his creativity and imagination. I don't do enough with him individually. More projects, more activities, more reading.

Miles, oh boy...Miles. I was looking at pictures a few weeks ago to put our year in a book for family and my has he changed. You can see it in his face...no more chunky baby cheeks to suck on, no more gummy smile. He's talking and repeating everything! He's so smart. He figures things out real quick especially when it comes to computers and cell phones!...there's no such thing as child lock for this boy. He knows what he wants and he'll get it. I love him and so proud of how far he's come!

Dave and I have had a real good year. We celebrated 5 years of marriage in August! I think, like a lot of people say, our first few years were the hardest but this year we kind of snapped out of it and have really appreciated each other and just set aside our differences and didn't sweat the small stuff...why didn't we listen to that advice when we first got married, I don't know. We've been through a lot together. We have so much to be thankful for and I think we are really, finally, seeing that.

I'm determined to make this year a good one. I really would like to focus on family. My Mom is now an 1hr. 45min. away, my sister just moved about 3-4 hours away and I just found out that another will be a 5 1/2 hr FLIGHT away! It's getting harder to see each other and I really don't want to get disconnected...like I have with my relatives in Michigan and now even the ones that are only a drive away. Anyway, family is important to me so it will be at the top of my list this year! ...among the typical: eat healthier, work out, be a better person and so forth :)

Hope this New Year is full of adventure, accomplishments and just plain FUN! for all of you!

I'm doing this from my cell phone so...

2010-10-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

...I'm not sure how it will turn out.

Life after moving. It hasn't been as easy to adjust as I hoped. After two months we're still trying to clear out Michele's things from the house, although we did take a long break and got out of the groove of things. It's been really stressful and I can't wait to be completely settled and make the house really feel like home. I still need to adjust to having 3 other people on the property too. It's not the privacy I had hoped for when moving into a house. I also need to adjust to not having as much time with Dave. Michele has a lot of projects for him around the house and property that take up a lot of time. Not only that but time spent on our own things like chopping wood for the winter and getting gutters fixed for the rainfall. I never see him anymore and really need to take advantage of our time together.

On our list:
-Complete Kainen's room, start Miles'...still, it's been on the list for far too long.
-Complete my room and bathroom...mainly cleaning and organizing.
-Organize garage, equipment shed and garden shed.
-Clear out all junk around the property...should be our first priority.

Projects!:
-Paint!!! Inside and out! So excited for this part :D
-New carpet...can't stand this dark teal color!
-Change hardware on all cabinets...eventually would like to restain or paint the cabinets
-New light fixtures in master bath
-Tile...or something other than carpet in the master bath!
-More to come I'm sure!

Other exciting things that have happened these last few months. Kainen taught himself to ride a bike! In three days! He just kept trying and trying until he figured it out! And then he braved the grass and the gravel since the only other thing to ride on is the deck. I'm so proud of him!!! He also started preschool! This was a very quick decision for us, we've thought about it before but one day I just called and the next week he was going. It's been really fun! It's been an adjustment though. I think I'm finally over the feeling of forgetting something after I drop him off. I'm still getting used to the getting ready routine before school too. He recently had a Trike-A-Thon and got to use his bike riding skills. He completed 21 of the TEN laps the were supposed to do!!! He was the only kid in his group that had no training wheels and he didn't fall or stop once! I was so proud of him! Of course they all were winners and got the same medal and award saying they completed 10 laps but secretly his MY official winner!

Miles is turning two this month! I can't believe how fast the tim has gone! He has grown so much and it's hard to believe how he came into this world. He's not really talking yet but he tries to repeat everything he hears. He's not walking yet but it will be soon I'm sure. One thing I've been struggling with is patients. With a full term baby you can usually pinpoint the moment they will hit milestones (fyi when I typed that out I capitalized M like I was spelling his name, I do that often) but with Miles I can't and you never know when they come. That's been a huge struggle. Since he's been born I've had this anger inside of me that just recently went away, sometimes it still comes around but I think it was just anger from how he came into the world, losing the twins and not really understanding why this was happening to me. I have to keep reminding myself how lucky I am to have Miles and what a miracle he is and he's all mine. I shouldn't have to remind myself that because it should just come naturally every time I look at him but it hasn't and it's been really hard. Anyway, I didn't mean to get into all of that. Sorry.

Okay, my fingers hurt so I'm going to put this to an end. Hopefully we will have internet soon so I can post pictures and videos.

Aaaaahhhh!

2010-07-15T14:22:00.001-07:00

I don't know why I'm making time for this because I have zero....it has been busy the last couple weeks. We finally got the okay to move into Dave's grandma's house but there is OH SO much to do! On my list:

*clean little house so Michele can move in
*pack up Michele's entire house and put some in storage, some in little house...give away...throw away AND keep some in the main house :/ not really sure about that one
*clean main house...and it needs A LOT of cleaning
*pack up our apartment, clean our apartment, move our stuff over to main house, CLEAN our entire apartment

...in between everything we need to find time to carpet clean all three places, do minor projects around the little house to make it livable and homey for Michele. We should paint in the main house before we move big furniture there but doubt that will happen. Deal with break-ins as we go...don't want to get into that one. AND it's really just the 3 of us doing it all...with offers to help but I'm not sure that will happen because most of this will be happening on weekdays while those people who have offered to help will be working. BUT a big THANKS ahead of time for those who do help and who will be watching our kids while we do it! So grateful to have such a big and generous family!

ALL THIS IN 2 1/2 WEEKS NOW, JULY 31ST!!!...actually with Dave working we'll have 6 whole days to do stuff! Needless to say I AM A LITTLE STRESSED!

june twenty ninth

2010-06-30T11:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Logan and Ryder's birthday...it marked 3 years since they came to say hello and goodbye on the same day. I think this year was the first year I was completely at peace with them being gone. In the past I would get so overwhelmed with sadness when I saw a rainbow, a pregnant lady, a mother and her twins walking by....I don't do that anymore. I think of them but it doesn't bring tears to my eyes anymore...Now, I just need to focus on Kainen and Miles. I miss being pregnant SO much and I really would love to get pregnant as soon as possible but as much as I want to have another one I know that now is not the time. I know that I will have a high risk pregnancy and may possibly be on bed rest for most of it and I need Miles to be fully independent...walking and such...before I can think about being pregnant.

*~Logan and Ryder~*

I was thinking of you yesterday. Remembering you coming into this world with one single breath and then drifting off to heaven to watch over us. That day was a sad day for me and Daddy. I've cried a lot since because I was angry that I lost you and I couldn't understand why we couldn't keep you but now realize what a blessing you both are and how lucky I am to have met you, touch you and kiss you. I think about you often and wonder what it would have been like to see you grow up but I know that one day I will and I'll just have to be patient. Thank you for the reminders that you are still there watching over us and waiting. I love you both dearly! Happy Birthday! I will remember you always!

sMILES

2010-06-10T17:55:00.000-07:00

Wallace Falls

2010-06-09T15:56:00.000-07:00

Went to Wallace Falls for a nice sunny Tuesday afternoon hike. We've got to take advantage of these sunny days while we've got them. Hopefully more will come soon. Here are some pictures.

Lower Falls

Middle Falls

2010-06-07T13:35:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day weekend we went to the Folklife Festival in Seattle. It was raining and yet it was jammed packed with people. I don't know why I was surprised but I was and we still went because it's always been a tradition in my family. Music, food, artsy fartsy stuff, elephant ears (of course!) AND don't forget the people. I admit that one of the reasons I go is to look at the people. The unnaturally long dreads, colorful hair, odd clothing combination's...some of them can create fairly good music though. I could do without the belly's hanging out and the bra-less girls. Anyway, like I said it was raining so I didn't take many pictures but here are the few...

Joshua
(my nephew)

Josh and Kainen

Elsie and Heather
(niece and sister)

Dave

Elsie

It's just SO goooood!!!
She did this once...I asked her to do
it again so I could get a picture.
She did. So cute.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

We got a text message early this morning from Dave's Uncle Fred who works on a ferry. He said that there was a whale just off the beach feeding. So we jumped out of bed and headed over and there it was, literally just off the beach scooting around scooping up the sand to get the shrimp. It didn't come out of the water too much. We mostly saw his fins moving around along the surface of the water and occasionally his belly when he'd flip around but it was an awesome site and my silly lens didn't capture what we saw...(off to buy a new one soon:)...there were also 2 bald eagles sitting right above where the whale was feeding, got a picture of one flying away...anyway, here's our morning!

Kainen and his cousin Ella

My crazy nephew Hayden playing in the waves!
Kainen and Cole observing...
or thinking about doing the same, who knows.

Summer Starts Here!

2010-05-25T16:55:00.001-07:00

3 trips to the beach over the weekend with some friends and family in tow...
I think that's a record for me!

Hayden and Kainen watching the train pass...
almost too close for my comfort.

Kainen, Jessica, Garrett, Abby and Madison

Kainen and Garrett hunting for crabs

Garrett, Kainen, Abby and Madison

Alissa and Paul

Went to the beach for the low tides and found a
few fun creatures that we don't normally see.

I just like this picture because he was so genuinely
excited that his hands were clean!

Philip and Aleah

Uncle Fred with Miles

You can't stop laughing can you?!

I feel so WONDERFUL today!!!

2010-03-04T10:53:00.000-08:00

I'll probably bore you with this so sorry but I'm excited.

I've been wanting to get some sort of exercise in during the day, which for me is really hard. I hate exercising so it's hard to get the motivation going. My plan was to get up at 6am...yes six...to go for a walk with just me and Sophie (dog) before Dave got up for work at 6:45 and the kids around 7. I was excited for that 'me' time BUT of course I couldn't get my butt out of bed. I even set my alarm...just kept hitting snooze. So I moved to plan B...

...work out at home while Miles napped and Kainen watched a movie. It worked, I found this perfect exercise on demand that I did once and it made me feel so good right after. It put me in a great mood and gave me plenty of energy but the next time I went to do it, it was gone. No where to be found, which was a bummer because I'm not very coordinated so it's hard for me to find a good workout routine...anyway, I moved to plan C...

...dance. I danced to music for 30 minutes straight. So wonderful. I bounced around...very foolishly...I would never dance like this in a public place. It lifted my spirits, it made my body feel so wonderful and refreshed. This is now my daily routine. At least I'm planning it that way, lets see if I can stick with it. Right now it's my 30 day challenge because I need to slim and tone a bit before I got to Vegas so...here we go!

Get up and dance!

Camping: A story all of its own

2009-09-18T14:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this goes along with the camping pictures but it's a series of pictures that tell a story. Makes me laugh hopefully it does for you too...or maybe you just had to be there...
Philip, Aleah? I hope that you're okay with me sharing this :)

So this was Brody's first camping trip (Philip and Aleah's dog). He, like most puppies, chews on everything. For some reason the stuff that he was chewing on didn't agree with him and gave him, well, not the #2's but the #3's. Philip and Aleah decide to do Paper, Rock, Scissors to see who gets to clean up the mess...

Philip lost...

Like a trooper he goes ahead and does his doodie
(get it? duty..)

Unfortunately the...doodie...has an overwhelming
odor that burns his nostril hairs right off...as you can see...

It's too bad there's not a way to cheat with Rock, Paper, Scissors. So unfortunate.

August Camping

2009-09-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

This took me a while to get up but here are some pictures of our annual family camping trip that we took in August to the North Cascades. A total of 11 adults, 15 kids and 5 dogs!

First two are our friendly neighbors...then random pictures...then beach-side fun...then hiking...then all the beautiful views...then campfire fun and experiments...then the ways we spend our last days: gathered around in one campsite and our 4 year tradition of ice cream in town and a picture on the locomotive.

4 Whole Yearsl

2009-08-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been 4 years! It seems like just yesterday Dave and I were planning our wedding...well take out the Dave and leave the I :O) I remember a lot of people asking us Are you sure you don't want to wait a little bit longer? People saying you're too young, what's the rush? You know. From the begining it always felt right. Our connection. We had an immediate bond and that has stuck for 5 years and I imagine it will for another 50. Sure, we've had our ups and downs and we definitely have had our battles. It's been an amazing journey so far and I wouldn't change a thing. We have learned from every challenge, from every mistake, from every new beginning we've grown closer. I couldn't ask for a better husband, father and best friend.

I love you honey! Thank you for inviting me on this amazing adventure 4 years 9 months and some odd days ago...whatever November 21, 2004 (engagement day) would be...Thank you for everything you do for me each day! Thank you for the sweet boys you gave me! I love you with all my heart!!! xoxox Happy Anniversary!

Meet Sophie

2009-08-10T13:03:00.000-07:00

Here's the new addition to our family...
SOPHIE
She is 5 weeks old, born on the 4th of July!

Super cute, super fun...lots to learn.

Point Defiance Zoo

2009-08-09T10:27:00.001-07:00

my goals

2009-08-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

Right now I feel like my life is cluttered. I feel like it's holding me back from certain things. I feel like it's stressing me out so much to where I can't focus on my family. I really want to get this stuff done NOW. I've been putting it off for too long and I just need to get it done. To be honest I'm a pretty lazy person. I've never liked cleaning, I've never liked cooking...I do now but I still don't have much patience for it. I think a lot of the problem is that our house is always messy and I can't keep up with it without getting overwhelmed. I can't get around the kitchen to cook or the dinning table for crafts...I just need to get this done so here are my goals...

Clean house ~ give away, throw away, sell and organize

Turn off the t.v. and and start reading daily with the boys and reading more books myself.

Do more activities with the boys, mainly Kainen...museums, outdoor activities...

Start a weekly family night.

Start weekly meal plans.

Make small changes to better myself physically, emotionally and mentally to make myself more confident as a wife and mother.

Do something for me...photography classes, learn to play guitar and/or piano.

...I might add to this later...hold me accountable please :)

104 degrees

2009-07-29T22:21:00.000-07:00

This is for the people during the winter last year who complained it was too cold and wanted the sun to come out and who are now complaining it's too hot outside and want it to rain...make up your mind people or this is what you'll get REVENGE!

I love this! Even though I have cranky boys...yes, all three of them. I love the heat, I love the sun! I know it won't last long so why not enjoy it. I love any excuse to eat Otter Pop after Otter Pop and skip out on chores to go to the beach or go to the air conditioned Target and shop for things I don't need like I did today...hey, any excuse right???

Hope you all enjoyed it too!

Spur of the Moment

2009-07-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we had a family reunion at Kayak Point so we decided to make a trip out of it. The campground was full but there was one Yurt left...that was a new experience! Not a bad one. It just made me excited for tent camping. It just doesn't feel like camping when you don't have to go through the trouble of setting up the tent in the rain when you first arrive. When you have heaters (not that we needed it) and electricity. When you have bunk beds and futons to sleep on. Not the same. It was fun though and it was a nice transition between home and tent since it was our first time camping with Miles. The first night was rain, thunder and lightning...and probably 80ish degrees out...gotta love that! The second was the same...our last night we finally were able to enjoy a fire and S'mores and stay up late playing Phase 10 while the mama raccoon was sneaking around with her 3 babies...I kept forgetting to get out my camera but her are a few pictures...

This is what happens when you leave crayons out in 90 degree weather

The best shade we could get in our campsite...or Yurtsite?

Just had to share...

2009-07-21T14:17:00.000-07:00

...we went to The Bite of Seattle on Sunday...
this is what a little sunblock combined with Miles' hair turns into...

Ocean Shores '09

2009-07-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

Sun. Cold wind. R&R. Miles of warm sand and NO ROCKS. Kite flying. Deer. The sound of the ocean. More R&R. Good times :)

Colorful Rainbows

2009-05-22T16:52:00.000-07:00

I often think of Logan and Ryder. When I walk into Kainen's room and see their Teddy Bear sitting on the rocking chair or the shadow box up on the wall. When I'm in the living room and happen to look up at the drawing of their most precious feet side by side. When I'm walking in the mall and see a set of twins or even an over sized belly go by. They are on my mind each day whether I notice it or not. Wednesday wasn't the nicest of days and I was really wishing for those gray clouds to go away but on our way home it was just the most beautiful site. Grey skies behind us, bright sun in front, rain following us and slowly fading away as we drove, creating the most WONDERFUL rainbow! First just a hint of one side, then, as we drove, it slowly came out of hiding allowing us to see one end to the other. The kind that makes you want to search for the pot of gold. I couldn't help letting the tears fill up in my eyes. Rainbows, to me, are a sign of Logan and Ryder looking down on me. I miss them so much and can't help wondering what it would have been like. What they would have been like.

Meet Peppy

2009-04-28T19:50:00.000-07:00

During 'me time' (post below) I took a trip to the craft store and got a ton of crafty stuff. I originally went for me. I've been wanting to start up sewing or knitting but ended up in a completely different section. I got every thing from googly eyes to glue to popsicle sticks to feathers...you name it I got it. Most of it was 50% off so that made it even more fun. We don't usually do crafts...not sure why but now that Kainen is older I feel like we need to start fun projects. Anyway, today Kainen made a sock puppet. We had so much fun. Even me! It went by too fast though. I'll have to think of more time consuming projects. I just wanted to share his creation...we named him Peppy Puppet. I guess I could have found a better sock to use. I can't wait for our next project...what should it be? Ideas?

me time

2009-04-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

Oh how I miss just wandering around in my favorite store without any distractions, except another customer knocking something off the shelf and making a noise loud enough for the whole entire store to look their way. I never get to do that any more. I never get to pick up e.v.e.r.y.s.i.n.g.l.e.i.t.e.m. in the store anymore. To really look and really dream of all the possibilities (I went to Piere 1 Imports, I'm sure you understand). Usually I'm telling this little person that's always attached to me 'don't touch that' or 'get out from under there' or 'stop running!' or something along those lines. OR I'm trying to get an unhappy baby calm again...it's always something :) I don't mind those somethings at all. I'm not one to get flustered or embarrassed that my kids are acting up in the store for EVERYONE to see. I can handle it and get done what I need to. But it has been so long since I've taken the time and it was really nice to do that today. The End.

Sunshine!!!

2009-04-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

I love sun. Yesterday was spent outside ALL DAY LONG! Dave and I took the boys to the Ballard Locks and watched all the big boats, small boats and everything in between pass through. We then ate lunch at Chinook's and had the traditional fish 'n chips and then walked by all the boats docked side by side so Kainen could see them up close. Then we drove over to Carkeek Park and played on the playground, walked down to the beach where Kainen threw rocks and splashed his feet in the water and ran up to the bridge to watch the Sounder fly by...I was hoping for a train that was a little slower and had more boxcars and freight cars to 'jump over'...I think Kainen was happy with the Sounder though. If we would have packed dinner we would have stayed to watch the sunset. Maybe next time. What a wonderful day it was! Can't wait to do it again!

Looking Back

2009-04-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

Here are a few things that happened over the last few months that I was going to share but never got around to...

How amazing not only the love between a parent and their child is but the love between two brothers.

Playing Captain for a day on the Edmonds/Kingston Ferry.

A visit from Great Grandpa Koosh and Great Grandma Sandy.
Ketchikan, Alaska

Our trip to Fort Casey

Easter Bunny Blast at the local Fire Department

2009-03-08T15:50:00.000-07:00

Click button to play.

First Folder
This picture was taken by my husband when we were engaged! This peacock was standing right in front of the gift shop at the zoo so beautifully and so perfectly.

Miles' busy week

2009-03-07T19:09:00.000-08:00

This week was a busy week for us...

Tuesday - we had a follow-up appointment with the Cardiologist for Miles (in case you didn't know). They did an EKG and everything looks and sounds normal! Yay! They want us to come back in one year to get an Echo. Fine by me.

Wednesday - Was his well child check-up. He's healing great from his surgery. They taught me a couple tricks to get his muscle stronger on the right side of his neck. He prefers looking to the right the majority of the time so we don't want his one muscle to be shorter than the other. They want us to focus on making noise, talking, putting toys, etc. on his left side so he will work on turning his head to strengthen that muscle. We can also stretch out his left arm which will give him an automatic reaction to turn his head. He also got two shots :( So sad. He cried so hard and then we went across the street to get his Synagis shot. He cried even harder.

Thursday - Was his follow-up with the Pulmonary clinic. His chronic lung disease is no longer an issue! Right now anyway. So hopefully things will continue to be fine. We have another follow-up in two months. He also got some blood work done to check the level of carbon dioxide in his blood to make sure it wasn't too high. Also to check and see if he was still anemic. Which is why he was on iron. The results came back normal so we are officially done with two out of four of his medications. Yay! We just have to watch for any changes in his breathing.

Friday - We had an appointment with the Wonderland Developmental Center. An OT and a Special Educator came to evaluate Miles' current developmental skills. They expect him to be were a 1 months old would be (which is what his corrected age is, 7 weeks). We did a number of exercises to see his strengths in lifting his head, gripping toys, looking at and following objects, reactions to noises/touch and speech. With how early he was they were excited to see that he was on track with most area's. He's right were he should be if not ahead. They want us to work with him on his head movement...to strengthen that muscle. They also want us to work on getting him to react to noise. These are no concerns though. They are also encouraging us to get him to do things that a 4 month old would do (his real age) just to see if he can pick them up. If he can't then he's still where we want him to be. What else...oh, this appointment was to see if he would qualify for their special education program which he DOES NOT! That is a good thing. That means, as of right now, he doesn't need any extra help. Yay! If we feel that he does in the future then we can contact them again...

So, as busy and exhausting this week was, it was all very encouraging and has made me feel more at ease and comfortable with Miles and his growth. It also makes things feel a little more normal.

Miles' Surgery

2009-03-01T14:29:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I should have done this sooner. To those of you with facebook accounts this is exactly what I wrote on there so you probably already read it...

Miles' surgery went well. He had two hernias that needed repaired, nothing major. It took 3 hours, a little longer than expected but it went well. He also got circumcised...two birds with one stone. I was a little worried because he would be 'knocked out' and would have to have breathing support and caffeine so he wouldn't have any apneic events during or after the surgery. With him being so young I was a little worried about something happening. I was expecting him to be very graugy (sp?), really out of it, maybe even on oxygen. I thought he would have trouble eating again. It was the total opposite. He came in the room with his head lifted high over the nurses shoulder. His eyes were wide open. Wider than I had ever seen. Very content and happy. Almost seemed happier and more comfortable. He gobbled up a 4 oz. bottle and stayed awake for hours upon hours. I could almost feel him laughing at me thinking 'what were you so worried about Mom?'

We came home the next day at noon. Back to our normal lives with only Tylenol to add to our list of medicines...thank goodness and just a little extra work while changing his diaper. Thanks for your support and prayers!

RANDOM PICTURE CHALLENGE 7.0

2009-03-01T10:18:00.000-08:00

If you want to play click here!

This is my first time playing so I hope I'm doing this right.

11th folder, 11th picture

This picture is from October 2007 when I went to visit my childhood best friend, Courtney, who lives in Florida. It was the first time I've seen her in about 10 years. We went for High Tea and this was the ceiling above us.

Surgery

2009-02-23T07:39:00.000-08:00

We are taking Miles in for surgery today at 11:15am. It's just a minor surgery to get his two hernias repaired. Yay. It always makes me nervous though so keep him in your thoughts today. He'll have to stay over night since he's so young just to make sure he handles the anesthesia okay and doesn't have any trouble with breathing or anything like that. Pray for him, cross your fingers, send good luck...what ever it is you decide to do to send your best wishes. Thanks!!!

The Comparison

2009-02-18T19:13:00.000-08:00

KAINEN

MILES

Oh the Joys

2009-02-18T17:11:00.001-08:00

So this is just a quick run through of what goes on in my head these days...medication...give this one a half hour before a feeding, give this one right after a feeding give this one an hour before that one, these two you can give together, give this one twice a day, give that one four times a day... 1 ml, .45 ml, 1.5 ml, 1 ml...feed him this much every four hours, don't forget the extra 1/2 tsp. of formula, gotta make it 24 cal not 22...don't forget to feed Kainen. Breakfast, lunch, dinner...don't forget the snack in between, make sure you pay attention to him, play with him, read him stories...I have to make an appointment for this, I have to pay that bill tomorrow...dishes, laundry...clean up spit up because I gagged Miles giving him yet another dose of meds. Miles is sleeping, go check, make sure he's breathing. Oh I forgot I was going to put a puzzle together with Kainen...Kainen not right now I'm feeding Miles. Kainen not so loud your brother is sleeping. Kainen please be careful. Sometimes I want to scream. It's amazing how draining it is.

Yeah I might be complaining but at the end of the day I feel so blessed to have Kainen who is the most wonderful boy. The best brother. So caring and loving and helpful and fun...Miles who we've been through so much with but here we are at home. He's healthy...the meds are only for minor things. We are so blessed to have a micro preemie that has no major issues. So far. He's a joy to have around. He has such a personality. He's so much like his brother. And then there's Dave who has supported me through everything. EVERYTHING. He's been so strong, for me, at his weakest. I love my life and I am so grateful for where we are and I am so grateful for how we got here no matter what the circumstances are. Whatever the price, I'll pay it if it means being this blessed in the end.

2009-02-03T20:21:00.000-08:00

I don't even know if I can explain how hilarious this is. I'm going to have to get it on video one of these days. This just makes me laugh. He does this all the time. I think I had just gotten done feeding him and I was just sitting there holding him...he puts on this face, frozen for 2 0r 3 minutes. I'm not exaggerating. Doesn't move a muscle. Staring me down. Hiccuping. For minutes, with no movement! I used to do something like this when I was little. Wide eyed. Mouth in an O shape. Like I was surprised or excited. I'll have to get the picture. Kainen did this too. I'm guessing Miles' face is a version of what Kainen and I did. It makes me laugh.

THIS IS ALL I'M GOING TO BE DOING...

2009-01-30T21:02:00.001-08:00

2009-01-30T14:52:00.000-08:00

So as I mention we brought Miles home on Wednesday! Things are going great. We are adjusting well. Dave had to go back to work so I think he's missing his time with Miles. Kainen is doing just fine. It's like nothing has changed...so far. He's a good helper. I'm doing good as well. I'm glad I had the 3 months to recover from my c-section and get my energy back so I can focus most my attention on Miles. With him eating every 4 hours now I only have to get up twice during the night so I'm still getting sleep. More than I thought I would. I thought my nerves would be getting the best off me and I wouldn't sleep at all. I think bring him home without oxygen, without monitors and without his feeding tube calmed my nerves quite a bit. The nurses and doctors had confidence that he would do just fine which I think gave me confidence too. I still stare at his chest though if I feel the need.

We had his well child check-up today and he weighed in at 9 lbs. 3 oz.--1 ounce more than Kainen was when he was born. Makes sense though. Miles' corrected age is about 2 weeks old. We have to schedule a surgery to correct his hernia within this next month. I'm excited for that. Poor little guy, it seems so uncomfortable. These next few months we'll have to stay to ourselves. His pediatrician told us that we need to be cautious going out in public places. Don't bring him if we don't need to. He won't be able to go to Kainen's birthday party :( That's fine I don't want to risk him getting RSV. But things are going great and I'm looking forward to our time together. Just the four of us.

Oh what a wonderful day...

2009-01-29T21:30:00.000-08:00

Kainen - January 28 2006 - 9 lbs. 2 oz.

Yesterday, I must say, is one of the best days. First off it was Kainen's 3rd birthday. My what a big boy he is. His birthday party isn't until Feb. 8th so I took him out this morning and afternoon. Nothing really special. Hopefully to him it was. He wanted to go to the park so we first stopped off at Starbucks since I knew I'd be sitting in the cold. I got my coffee and Kainen got his vanilla steamer which of course was gone in within the 3 minute drive from Starbucks to the park. When we got there it was deserted. Why, you ask, because of course this time of year everything is going to be wet. Kainen decided he wanted to go to the mall and play in the kids zone instead. Totally fine by me. Indoor = no cold breeze. He played for a while and then we decided to leave and he used his two quarters to get some candy out of the machines. We went home. Had lunch and then met Daddy for some ice cream (dad was at work). On our way home we went through the car wash, he'll always think we did this because it was his birthday :) He loved it. We hadn't done that in a while. We went home took a nap and it was time to pick up Dad from work. Now. Here comes the best part of all. We went straight to the hospital, gathered our things and BROUGHT MILES HOME!!! Could it have gotten better than that? Happy Birthday Kainen! We've been home ever since enjoying the 4th member of our family. Finally, at last, we have him to ourselves. Home.

Today

2009-01-23T12:39:00.000-08:00

Cleaning day for sure!
-Laundry, laundry, laundry
-Clean kitchen
-Deep clean bathroom :/
-Clean Kainen's room
-Clean my room...oh boy!

In between, some dancing to music with Kainen. Maybe a walk around the block since it's oh so beautiful outside!

Later go pick up a wood train set for Kainen from a lady in Bothell...craigslist saves you money! Not just because...it's his birthday next week...3 YEARS!

Gotta get back into my groove. Enjoy your day!

2009-01-21T11:19:00.000-08:00

Gosh, these last three months have gone by so fast! When I had Miles I thought for sure that the time would s..l..o..w..l..y creep by. I thought my life would be at a stand still for months after months. They definitely haven't. I can't believe that it's been three months, I have a three month old! A lot has changed since but man has it flown by. Although, these last couple weeks I've felt it slow down.

Miles has been doing wonderfully. He hasn't had an apnea episode since Jan. 13th...well he's had one or two small ones but nothing serious. I've mentioned that he has to go 5 days without one for him to be able to come home. He has and I think the small episodes he's had aren't significant enough to start those five days over again. Make sense? So we are just waiting for the doctor to say 'okay, he's in the clear, you can bring him home now'.

My original due date was on January 18th which is really weird because that same day they tried taking him off his oxygen and he's been off ever since. They still put him on it during his feedings but he's been doing great! That's another step closer. I think right now my greatest fear of bringing him home is that I'll wake up one night and he's not breathing. I know I can't think like that but as his mother and all he's been through and all he's still going through, how can I not fear the worst? Anyway, so it calms my nerves knowing that he doesn't need that full support. I feel much more comfortable bring him home now.

He's taken a step back to 6 out of 8 feedings instead of 7 out of 8. I think he still needs that break, right now it's too much work for him. He now weighs...are you ready...8 lbs. 8 oz.! He's awake a lot more and for longer which I LOVE. I love that I can sit and stare into his eyes and talk to him and sing to him and learn more about his personality. He's just like Kainen was, hardly cries, very melow, very happy....just goin' with the flow. Not to mention he's got the cheeks that Kainen had...those sweet little cheeks :)

P.S. His MRI went well. It just confirmed that the bleed in his brain is healing the right way. The clotting isn't blocking any natural flow, extra fluid is absorbing in the right places and so forth. Yay!

I know this video isn't the best quality, it's from my cell but it shows him and how he is when he's awake...along with some hiccups.

Shopping

2009-01-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

Boy, is shopping hard these days. My birthday was this past Sunday and family members gave me gift cards mostly. I went out yesterday to spend them plus $6.90 extra :) I brought Kainen with me which sometimes is hard to do because he likes to run all over the place, hide under the clothes racks, push the cart around on his own. It's hard to keep focus. I'm wondering what it's going to be like with two on my hands. Aleah, stop laughing. Anyway, I tried on my 3 pairs of paints, 5 shirts and a couple other things and I bought them all. I returned it all today except 2 things...and then I went out and bought more! I'm only returning one thing this time ;) It's just hard to buy clothes right now becuase I still have baby weight to lose and I don't want to buy clothes if they're going to be to big next month. I guess I can just spoil myself again when that time rolls around.

My weekend plans...

Today was supposed to be my cleaning day...guess it will have to wait!

Tomorrow is my babyshower! It will be fun, I'm excited to get things ready for Miles' homecoming!

Sunday is my Grandma's 80th birthday party! Wow, it's weird to think that I have 54 years to go before I'm there.

Enjoy yours!

2009-01-13T22:24:00.001-08:00

Well...I've been meaning to write this for a while now but I think I had to soak the information in a little bit. Good thing I did because things have changed since.

Last Monday Dave and I found out that we would for sure be bringing Miles home in 2 to 3 weeks which would have put us at this weekend (the 17th-18th) or the weekend after (24th-25th). This was overwhelming news for me...I think Dave too...for a couple reasons. At that time he was only taking 5 out of 8 bottles which he was still struggling with. That would mean we would have to learn how to change his feeding tube and learn how to do the feedings through the machine if he wasn't able to take a bottle. He wouldn't be completely off O2 so we would have to learn how to use the large tank as well as the small travel tank. Also, they would probably send us home with a monitor, like the one at the hospital to check his breathing, heart rate, oxygen level, etc. so we would have to learn how to us that. Having to do all those things together all by myself overwhelmed me and I immediately broke down after the doctor left the room but I quickly recovered. I will do anything for this little guy but I will definitely need a lot of strength and courage. One thing that was encouraging was the Dr. saying that Miles was 'rock solid stable'! I'm glad you think so Dr. Chentow!

Since then, he's eating 7 out of 8 bottles and doing really well with each one. Every once in a while he struggles with a feeding but he's getting better at pacing himself. By the time he comes home we may not even need to do gavage feedings. One less thing to worry about. O2 I'm not worried about. It would be nice if he were off it but if not that's okay. Monitors, they make me nervous but I'd rather have that then nothing I guess. At least for the first few weeks. But they might say we won't need them. The only thing that's stopping him from coming home are his apnea episodes where his heart rate slows, his breathing slows, his oxygen levels drop. That can't happen for 5 days straight and they are still happening every couple days.

His due date was supposed to be January 18th so I guess he's right on schedule. Maybe a little behind. He weighs...well last Saturday he weighed 7 lbs. 9 oz. so he's getting pretty close to 8! I could have delivered another 9 lb. baby!!! Crazy! Also he's getting an MRI tomorrow. Nothing serious, just getting a closer look at that bleed in his brain to make sure things are still looking good. Another step for him to come home!

Girls Night

2009-01-05T08:48:00.001-08:00

Now girls don't be mad at me for posting these pictures!

Last night my sisters came over to have our annual girls night. We missed you Heather :( Normally we do a weekend away but two of us have new babies and another has a busy schedule going to work and school. Thanks to Philip and Dave taking the kids we were able to get together. One night of talking, drinking wine and eventually rockin' out to Rock Band is all we needed. We had loads of fun. I know I did anyway. For me it was a nice escape from everything going on with Miles.

These pictures don't even show the amount of fun we had. The girls are just practicing in these pictures. Later we bring out the drums and microphone trading off after every song. By then our hands were too full to take pictures.

I started off with the mic. Alissa and Aleah started off with the guitars and Kristin took on the drums. I believe we've formed our very first family rock band! Now we just need a garage to practice in :)

Oh and don't let me forget the 5 inches of snow that we got while we were doing all this. I didn't even know it was supposed to snow again! I guess that's why we call it winter.

Thanks for coming over Ladies!!!

*Side Note - Miles hit 7 lbs on Saturday!

2009-01-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

Wow, has it really been since April that I've posted?

Miles has been in the NICU for 2 1/2 months now...It went by fast until now. I'm just getting anxious now. I think I got my hopes up for him to be home by my birthday (Jan. 11) but now it looks like he'll be home by his due date (the 18th), maybe even after that. I'm just ready for him to be home and all these emotions are building and it's getting really hard. I know it will be soon enough but he hasn't been home for over two months now. It's time. I need him here. I need to know who he is and what makes him happy. I don't feel like I can comfort him when he needs it. I don't feel like I have a bond with him. I need that. It's frustrating but if he needs the time then that's what I'll give him.

He's progressing well though. He started off at 2 lbs. 1 oz. and now he's at 6 lbs. 14 oz. He's had a consistent weight gain which is something they require for him to go home. He started off so frail and bony and now he has little rolls here and there and chubby fingers and toes. He started off with much needed support and now he's breathing pretty much on his own and keeping his body temperature up which is another requirement for him to go home. He just started learning how to eat from a bottle which is going well but there's much more learning for him to do. He's taking 5 out of 8 bottles a day. Some of them he tires out and they'll have to give him the rest of the the milk through his feeding tube. That's what is setting him back. He's also having too many oxygen desaturations and apnea episodes which he can't do at all for 5 days straight before he comes home. Time. I just need to stay positive and give him time to get stronger and he'll be home before I know it.

2008-04-16T15:44:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted. I guess I've been busy with life. I suppose I need to write an update. A few things have been going on:

Dave and I have been going back and forth between buying a house or having a baby. Right now we've decided to have a baby, once again. We wanted to see how much of a loan we'd qualify for and it isn't as much as we hoped. So right now, baby it is, hopefully. So now we are looking in to renting a house because I'm really tired of apartments. Keep your fingers crossed.

We are still working on potty training Kainen. It's harder than I thought. Well maybe not. I don't know who came up with the 3 day method and who in the heck actually has success with it. That doesn't seem possible. He's doing good though. He's comfortable with the toilet. He's comfortable wearing underwear. It's just a matter of getting him to tell us when and before he needs to go. There is progress, most times he'll start to go in his paints, stop himself and then finishes on the toilet. It's hard having to work and not being able to focus on it all day everyday. He'll get there. Patience.

This last week was a good week. The sun was out, briefly, and we got to play without having to wear our jackets. How great is that! I must say I am ready for the sun to come back. This weather is killing me. It's more the temp. I want it to be at least a little warmer. I don't care if it rains just warm up a bit. Anyway, so we got to enjoy a day at the zoo with Alissa and the girls and Saturday we had a birthday party for my sister at the park. It was so warm we decided to put the picnic table in the shade! Love it! I'm ready for more.

potty training update

2008-03-20T15:43:00.000-07:00

The journey continues. Scratch the 3 day method. It would probably work but this last weekend I had many things to do and could not spend every minute at home to focus on the number one and two's. I was anxious to get started on potty training so I did it anyway and it is going well. Kainen loves using the toilet and is eager to learn, we still have a long way to go but it's going and that's all I care about.

I started out by just taking him to the toilet every 45 minutes to an hour which was working but then I realized that it's not teaching him to recognize when he needs to go and to tell me. He just goes when I say. So I started to put a little more trust in him and I am trying to wait for him to tell me when he needs to go but that hasn't worked yet. He goes in his pants and then tells me.

Yesterday I went out and bought a few things that I think will help him (and me). I bought a book for him that tells him how boys are supposed to go, standing up to go potty and sitting down to go poop...if you didn't know already ;) He was excited about the standing up part (normally we sit down to do both) and wanted to try it right away, he struggles with it but he almost always makes it in the toilet which is good and we brought out his potty chair again so it would be the right height for him. We also bought some Kandoo wipes and foaming soap for him so doesn't forget to wash his hands after and a pad to put on his bed for those nights he sleeps without a diaper which I'm not ready for...

So we are all set. Oh and yesterday I took him away from the house without a diaper on and it went well. It was just over to a friends to babysit for an hour but hey it's away from the comfort of our home.

The journey begins

2008-03-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

So I'm officially starting to potty train Kainen. We've started before but it was very casual just so I could get him used to the idea. But I'm going to try the 3 day method which is basically to end the use of diapers and put him in underwear (except for naps and overnight). They suggest not leaving the house for three days but that's impossible. I'm supposed give him a lot of fluids and take him to the bathroom every 30 minutes but I think I'm going to do it every 45...it seems more realistic to me especially since I'm not going to give him extra fluids. So I hope it goes well. I don't expect him to be potty trained in 3 days but I think it's a good crash coarse. I wouldn't usually follow specific tips or methods but Kainen is usually a quick learner and I know he will pick up on it really fast.

This made me feel better

2008-03-12T16:49:00.001-07:00

This one makes me feel like a Supermodel

Do you ever feel like this???

2008-03-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

The last couple months I've actually been happy and been able to accept that I've lost my boys but hearing this story yesterday about the mother who killed her five month old son because he was crying is just ripping my heart out. I don't understand how anyone can be so cruel. They are so fortunate to have this child. Children, they were twin boys and she killed one of them. Now that same question that was going through my mind for months after I lost Logan and Ryder is back. Why were they taken from me? Why do two sweet boys get taken from their mother who will love them unconditionally but are given to a mother who won't? I don't understand.

Just a complaint...

2008-03-07T09:30:00.000-08:00

Ok so for Dave's birthday/valentines day I ordered him a very large gift (I can't say what it is just yet). February 7th is the exact date of my order, it is now March 7th and they are just now telling me that it was on back order and the manufacturer just received more so I should be getting it soon which means 5 to 10 MORE days!!! ...and that's just a guess. The didn't tell me when I should expect it they just said soon. They could have told me all of this sooner...

Oh and sad news :( We are taking Buddy, our dog, back to the previous owners tomorrow night. Just temporarily. He gets separation anxiety which means he gets really bad poo and throws up. Which means we have to put him in the bathroom when we are gone. Which means we come home to a big mess and we decided he doesn't deserve that. So until we get a house, he will be staying with his other family. We are planning on renting a house after our lease is up here in July so that will be better for him...and us.

My Little Helper Vol. 2

2008-03-06T09:17:00.001-08:00

So here we go again. I was sitting in the living room knowing he was in the kitchen and I heard some fiddling around but I figured he was playing with a kitchen utensil like he always does but I went to check on him anyway and this is what I found. I just want to point out that he's never gone under the kitchen sink (where we keep our cleaning supplies) until now. He had gotten the dish soap out to start a load of dishes which I usually let him do. He always starts the dishwasher for me...flips the switch to the right to lock it, turns the knob until it makes that annoying dish washer noise then switches it to energy saver if it's not already. That's what he does and if I hadn't come in there he probably would have started the wash on his own, except they were already clean. So I first told him that it wasn't okay to get the dish soap out without my help and he got the look on his face (picture 1) but then I continued...Thank you for trying to help me though...and when he realized he wasn't in trouble he got the other look (picture 2) then we emptied the dishwasher and filled it so he could finish what he started. I love that kid!

My Little Helper

2008-02-27T14:05:00.001-08:00

Kainen started doing this all by himself. I wasn't even thinking about doing laundry. I just noticed last night that he wasn't around but I heard some clanking behind me so I got up to see what he was doing. He was putting his overalls in the washer. I took a second to think about when he wore those last and realized I had just washed those...I looked further into the washer and notice more pants...just pants...and then it hit me. He was emptying his dresser drawer, the one with his newly, neatly folded pants and was putting it all in the washer. I guess that's why they say It's the thought that counts...

...he wasn't really happy about me putting the clothes back in the drawer so I explained to him that these clothes are clean which is why they are put away in the drawer. Then I continued to show him where the dirty pile was and let him continue what he was doing. He did everything except poor the soap into the cup...

Great Ending

2008-02-23T16:22:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful week we've had. So sunny and so warm. I love it and I love that the weather guys have been wrong about the rain. It was supposed to rain here today but it has been in the mid 50's all day and the suns going down and still NO rain.

My mid week was not the greatest. Remember my last post, Proud Mommy? That dwindled down pretty fast. The day after I wrote that post I don't think he went in the toilet at all that day and he wasn't in diapers at all that day which means lots of carpet cleaning, couch cleaning and mopping up floors. Oh and we don't want to forget the many pairs of underwear that had to be washed. That's okay. I know he's learning and I know this will happen many times but it's just frustrating. He was doing so good! I just need to be patient and remember that he just turned two.

Thursday I went to my sisters to take her to the doctor because she has that flu thing that's going around but I ended up taking her kids instead, to my house not the doctor. She decided to wait a couple more days and see if she got any better. I decided she needed a break from the girls so they spent the last two nights and three days here with us. It was fun. We got a surprise visit from my cousin and her two boys from Gig Harbor. So we went to our little park and played for a while and then took them all to the mall to play in the kids play area. Friday, I packed up some sandwiches and took the girls and Kainen to a different park and we stayed there for a couple hours and had lunch. I think they really needed it, Samantha was on her mid winter break this week so being stuck inside with their sick mom wasn't much of a break. So hopefully it was a good ending for her. Now my sister is feeling a little better. So everyone wins.

Here are a few pictures from my week I didn't take too many...they move too fast. The first one is of Annabella and Samantha. Then Kainen going down the slide. I finally got to the point where I can trust him (almost) to go do everything on his own without me following him. The third picture is of my mischievous son. I was busy with dinner and Kainen decided to put my make-up on. The black under his eyes is mascara the rest is a blush and eyeshadow mix. How can you get mad at that?

Proud Mommy

2008-02-20T08:20:00.000-08:00

So this morning Kainen made me so proud. We've been working on potting training for the last month or so and he's done really well...

We've been letting him go at his own pace for a few reasons. He would get embarrassed to go on the toilet, he would get embarrassed to wear underwear and he would get embarrassed to go naked so we just let him do it when he wanted and it grew on him every time...

The last few days he's been willing to wear his underwear so I decided that it was time to go full force. Yesterday before I left for work I told him that "if you need to go potty tell daddy and he will help you" which he didn't do. Instead he decided to take off his diaper and go himself. Dave noticed later that he started to go potty in his diaper and stopped himself so he could finish on the toilet. He did that twice yesterday.

That made me so proud and to top it off, this morning he went poop on the toilet for the first time. He's never done that! So I had to share my excitement.

Valentine/Birthday Weekend

2008-02-17T12:53:00.000-08:00

Well Valentines Day has passed...we didn't do much, Dave and I both had to work. Dave brought me I bouquet of a dozen pinkish purplish roses, TWO boxes of Trader Joe's Truffles (if you've never had them I suggest you go get them right now) and a card. I just got him a card...for now...I'm awaiting the arrival of his v-day/birthday present...it's late. Today is his birthday his is 24. One whole year (plus a month and some odd days) younger than me. He always teases me about that, how he married an older woman. We're not doing anything. Today is Daytona 500 so we are stuck in here on this BEAUTIFUL sunny day for the next 5.5 hours...oh I guess 4 hours now. Oh well it's his birthday he can do what he wants. Maybe Kainen Buddy and I will go over to the park or something.

Hope your weekend was great!

I'm back...

2008-02-13T17:14:00.001-08:00

So I started this blog thinking that I'd keep up with it and be able to tell the stories of my life but no my computer decided to become virus central so it was hard to do that. But NOW we have a brand new computer! We got it yesterday, couldn't really afford it but we did it anyway because it was needed and well worth it...see!

What's new in our life.

We got a dog named Buddy. He's a 2.5 year old lab/shepard mix. He's a very good dog. A few kinks we need to work on but nothing serious. He's great with Kainen too which is a big plus.

Kainen my sweet little baby turned 2! Can you believe it? The time went by so fast. He's turning into such a big boy. His doctor says too big, big enough that we need to put him on a DIET! HA not gonna happen! He's 2, he still has his baby fat PLUS he's part Native American so he's naturally thick and he has been in the 90th percentile for weight since he was born. Don't they look at all that stuff before they tell someone to put their 2 year old on a diet??? Also, she said we need to work on his words because he's not saying enough. He says plenty, maybe not in clear english words but he says a lot and probably says a new word every day. His latest is meme which means excuse me. I just wish sometimes that the doctors wouldn't go by statistics. I know how my son is. I know how he learns and how fast and I think that he's a very smart kid. He understands and communicates very well. You can't force your child to say words even if you read to them every day or whatever. They have to learn them on their own and at there own pace. I think he is well advanced for his age even if he doesn't talk to the full expectations of his doctor....anyway...so here they are Buddy and Kainen!

I had to add this picture too just because it was so cute...

Have a nice day!

The Big Two Five

2008-01-14T13:00:00.000-08:00

Well this past weekend was my birthday. I turned 25. I know people are going to say YOU'RE CRAZY but I feel old. I know I'm not and there are many more I feel olds to come. The things that make me feel old...

I'm one of the very few of my friends that are married and have kids.

My 10 year high school reunion is in 3 years

My oldest niece (out of 9 nieces and nephews) is 15 years old

When people ask me what I want for my birthday or Christmas I say a hand mixer or a sewing machine

I guess that's not a long enough list to say I feel old but I do want to say that I have everything accomplished when I said I would. I always told people that by the time I turn 25 I want to be married and have kids. I have both of those things and feel so blessed. I love my life right now, there are many things I still want to do and accomplish but the two most important ones are right here along my side to encourage me to do so. Happy Birthday to ME!

Meet My Family

2008-01-03T20:29:00.001-08:00

This is me. Also known as Cheri. I'm a mother, wife, daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister, aunt and friend. I'm fun, patient, friendly, polite, loving, caring, serious, strong and many other things (I got sick of the commas:) One thing I think people notice the most about me is that I'm almost always smiling which is a good thing!!!

This is my husband. David. He's Native American, pretty sexy I think ;) One of the things that made me fall in love with him is how he treats woman. Respectfully. He has a big heart and is always wanting to help out friends and family when they need it. He's funny, smart and caring. He's a WONDERFUL father and husband. He's great at giving advice. He lends his shoulder to cry on, he lends his hand to hold. He hurts when someone he loves is hurting too. He's my favorite teddy bear. Love ya babe!

This Kainen. My life. My joy. He's my son, I'm so proud to be his mother! This is where sweetcheeks comes from. He's had the sweetest chunky cheeks since day one but that's not what I love most. He's a sweetheart, always smiling, always laughing. He makes my worst days better. He's silly, smart, tough but sweet and gentle. He pats my back when he hugs me. He rubs my arms when he's tired. I love him with all my heart and more!

This is what you have to look forward to!

New Year, New Beginnings

2008-01-01T19:49:00.000-08:00

This is my first blog. It's the beginning of the year so I want to start out fresh. There's a lot of things that I want to change about my life. For those of you who are reading let me fill you in on what happened this last year. Jan '07 my son turned one. He grew up so fast, I can hardly remember these last years. Good thing I got it on camera. And now he's turning two :( My husband had a pretty steady job so we decided to try for another son/daughter we figured that would put a good age distance between him/her and Kainen, our son. It took us four months to get pregnant but we did and soon found out that we were having twin boys due in November. What a joy that would be, 3 boys, 3 little football players. Although, I was freaked out knowing that soon after having them my hubby would have to go back to work and I'd be left alone with a two year old and two newborns. I guess that would freak anyone out. Unfortunately, we lossed our twin boys in June, the hardest thing I've ever gone through but one of the most amazing experiences I've gone through. We got to meet our boys right before they went to heaven which was a blessing all in it's own. It's an experience that couldn't be described. Thankfully we have a lot of people that love us, who helped us stay strong and work towards getting through it. After I got out of the hospital I got an allergic reaction to some medication I was on which lasted a week which was the same week that I was packing to move that next weekend. (Thanks everyone for helping). Shortly after that my husband lost his job. I had a few distractions. Camping in July and August. A trip to Florida to see my childhood friend that I haven't seen in 7ish years. Girls weekend in Oregon with my sisters. That was all good but I guess you could say this last summer wasn't the best. But now we are getting back on our feet. My husband has a pretty reliable job. I have a part-time job which won't last long ;) I like being a stay at home mom. And now we officially decided to start trying again!

So that was my year, now I want to start out fresh. Better my relationship with my husband. Better my relationship with myself. Better daily habits, etc....the typical ones I don't need to mention. The main thing is that I want to be happy. (period)

So that's my first entry. Don't worry they won't be all this long :) Hope you all had good holidays!